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A Lion in Iron: Stop Blowing Smoke
By Alexander Cortes
Published: June 17, 2013
I’m going to make a confession, I used to smoke. Not two packs a day, but there was a short time when I was dancing, I would light up with regularity. A lot of ballet dancers smoke to stay lean—and yes, this is totally counter productive to ones stamina. Anyways, since that time, I have always been attenuated to the scent of cigarette smoking, and as disgusting as the habit may be to some people, part of me misses it. If there was a magical way in which cigars and cigarettes were good for you, I’d be chain smoking a pack an hour. However, there is a verifiable mountain of evidence that says smoking is bad for your short- and long-term health. There’s also the fact that inhaling a multitude of chemical compounds into your lungs doesn’t intuitively seem a like good idea anyways. Plus, there’s the whole, “I smell like an ashtray and I couldn’t run a mile to save my fucking life” factor. So in light of that I don’t smoke anymore.
Within the fitness industry, there are A LOT of smokers. They are a different kind though; they don’t have the bad habit of lighting up, instead, they have the habit of blowing smoke out in the form of information and advice that is complete and utter bullshit and declaring it their expert opinion.
Aside from the obvious lack of credibility, I find this disheartening for the reason that there are talking heads out there that really don’t know a damn thing of what they are talking about, but they have cultivated an audience and people take their bullshit smoky advice as incontrovertible fact. They discourage independent thinking or personal study by the eponymous, “I did the studying so you don’t have to!” type statement, as if it is something to be proud of.
On a smaller level, you have the average PT client at the mercy of someone who doesn’t have a fucking clue as to how to train anyone other than themselves. The person they got certified from didn’t have a fucking clue as to what they were doing either. Both of these people will no doubt advertise themselves as specializing in “strength training” at their commercial gym or on their website. This is despite the fact that they cannot press, pull, hinge, or squat with anything close to respectable competency. They will still however charge $100 for a consultation. Their expertise always breaks under questioning though.
One thing about pseudo experts, they are excellent at telling you WHAT something is for, but they have no idea how or why it actually works. A common example, take the commercial gym personal trainer who is having a client do some stupid fucking balancing movement that he read about in his certification monthly magazine.
With MMA strength and conditioning coaches (since MMA is super cool right now and training fighters is super hardcore and must mean you’re totally an expert and stuff),“You should wear this scuba mask while doing these DB burpees because it mimics the energy systems demands of an MMA round.” Yeah, because a movement done with DBs wearing a snorkel till you throw up is totally similar to have someone trying to bash your face in while sitting on your chest in a 5-minute round—exactly the same thing. And everyone just nods his or her heads because agility, conditioning, and balance is important, right? Sure it is, but improving those things involves a lot more than saying, “Do this, and yeah, don’t you feel that?” The coaches that are full-of-shit can not explain the relevancy. They can’t explain the WHY. They don’t really know HOW beyond memorized sound byte steps. But they get really really good at saying WHAT something is for. The above are very stereotypical examples, but I see endless versions of them thrown around constantly.
If I ask WHY this exercise improves balance relative to performing on a stable surface, what the particular coordination or mechanism is that is measurably being trained, and HOW this is then the most efficient movement to enhance said coordination that will transfer to performance, all I get is blank fucking stares. They don’t know how it’s properly done beyond what they think it’s supposed to look like. They can’t rationalize its inclusion in a program other than the fact that it is “for this”. They cant teach you anything because they’ve never learned it themselves, never done it themselves, and never have never studied it themselves. So they don’t have the knowledge of how or why, but they can baffle you with bullshit for an hour and hope you you don’t have ask too many hard questions.
There has to be a how and a why that rationalizes the what for. Any qualified coach can speak endlessly about the reasoning, the science, the experience, the rationale for why they use something, and how it’s used and what it will be for. Before I ever express any kind of recommendation on anything, I will always utilize it first myself, test it a bit on the appropriate clients, and then I will have an opinion on it. I will study how other more experienced and educated coaches have used it with their clients. I will preface this with, “this is how it is performed, this is how I have used, this is how I have seen it work, this is how it has been used by other coaches, hence, this is WHY we are using it.”
If I use something and it doesn’t work, and I hear and interact with other reputable coaches who also express this doesn’t work, then I am likely to declare something to NOT work, or at least not work very well. If it is something I have never done myself and I am not likely to do, I will refer to the recommendations of another, more experienced and accomplished coach within that field. I will preface this with, “I don’t know, I have not done that myself, but the successful coaches I have seen who have done it usually use XYZ.”
I have no problem saying when I don’t know something because there are many many things I have not done. I am not going to bridge the logic gap by bullshitting and claim +10 in experience for something that’s never happened. To use some basic logic, “if you’ve never done something, then it should follow that you will not have an opinion about HOW to do it, having never done it.” So if you have never done something, it should follow that you can’t really recommend how you should TRAIN for it.
Basic, but it apparently gets ignored by 99 percent of the industry who have the magical fucking ability to make -10 equal +100 in how awesome their coaching and methods and training are. They produce shitty books, ebooks, reports, repackaged programs and articles, and they call it all perfume and underground training secrets. It’s not perfume, its fucking bullshit smoke. And I’m tired of it. It negatively affects everyone’s credibility by creating the reputation of the stupid personal trainer or worthless internet guru, it lends the industry a reputation of incompetency, and above all, it’s dishonest to the people we are trying to help. I have enough of a fight tearing apart of fitness myths that my clients come to me believing. I don’t need to see it reinforced by snake oil trainers and coaches in my field.
I could avoid the smoke. I could just say screw it and I’ll do things the right way and build my credibility and don’t worry about the bullshit I see thrown around, but that doesn’t solve the problem though; the smoke blowers are still there. And after five short and long years of doing this and seeing the same shit over and over, I’m tired of just putting up with it.
So for however long it takes, and whatever it takes, I’m going to huff and puff and frankly just rip into them until they’re in pieces and I can see clear. This is for honesty, this is for the people we aim to help, this is for the health of the whole industry, and the standard of integrity we need to create if we are to be successful in the long term. This cannot be an industry of smoke and mirrors.
By Alexander Cortes
Published: June 17, 2013
I’m going to make a confession, I used to smoke. Not two packs a day, but there was a short time when I was dancing, I would light up with regularity. A lot of ballet dancers smoke to stay lean—and yes, this is totally counter productive to ones stamina. Anyways, since that time, I have always been attenuated to the scent of cigarette smoking, and as disgusting as the habit may be to some people, part of me misses it. If there was a magical way in which cigars and cigarettes were good for you, I’d be chain smoking a pack an hour. However, there is a verifiable mountain of evidence that says smoking is bad for your short- and long-term health. There’s also the fact that inhaling a multitude of chemical compounds into your lungs doesn’t intuitively seem a like good idea anyways. Plus, there’s the whole, “I smell like an ashtray and I couldn’t run a mile to save my fucking life” factor. So in light of that I don’t smoke anymore.
Within the fitness industry, there are A LOT of smokers. They are a different kind though; they don’t have the bad habit of lighting up, instead, they have the habit of blowing smoke out in the form of information and advice that is complete and utter bullshit and declaring it their expert opinion.
They are “blowing smoke up your ass and calling it perfume,” as my father would say.
This smoke blowing is readily seen in the ways that unqualified people will magically recommend things that they have little to no experience or education in. Its amazing how you can have an opinion of the training necessities of a sport you have never played or actually trained anyone in, but I’ve no doubt we can all think of people who have made a career out of this.Aside from the obvious lack of credibility, I find this disheartening for the reason that there are talking heads out there that really don’t know a damn thing of what they are talking about, but they have cultivated an audience and people take their bullshit smoky advice as incontrovertible fact. They discourage independent thinking or personal study by the eponymous, “I did the studying so you don’t have to!” type statement, as if it is something to be proud of.
On a smaller level, you have the average PT client at the mercy of someone who doesn’t have a fucking clue as to how to train anyone other than themselves. The person they got certified from didn’t have a fucking clue as to what they were doing either. Both of these people will no doubt advertise themselves as specializing in “strength training” at their commercial gym or on their website. This is despite the fact that they cannot press, pull, hinge, or squat with anything close to respectable competency. They will still however charge $100 for a consultation. Their expertise always breaks under questioning though.
One thing about pseudo experts, they are excellent at telling you WHAT something is for, but they have no idea how or why it actually works. A common example, take the commercial gym personal trainer who is having a client do some stupid fucking balancing movement that he read about in his certification monthly magazine.
“This balance exercise on this wobbly board is really good for balance because it requires you to use your stabilizers to balance!” I shit you not, I’ve heard this said by people that call themselves a trainer. Hell, even with athletic coaches, “We’re gonna do these agility drills to help your agility. You gotta be agile on the field.”
With MMA strength and conditioning coaches (since MMA is super cool right now and training fighters is super hardcore and must mean you’re totally an expert and stuff),“You should wear this scuba mask while doing these DB burpees because it mimics the energy systems demands of an MMA round.” Yeah, because a movement done with DBs wearing a snorkel till you throw up is totally similar to have someone trying to bash your face in while sitting on your chest in a 5-minute round—exactly the same thing. And everyone just nods his or her heads because agility, conditioning, and balance is important, right? Sure it is, but improving those things involves a lot more than saying, “Do this, and yeah, don’t you feel that?” The coaches that are full-of-shit can not explain the relevancy. They can’t explain the WHY. They don’t really know HOW beyond memorized sound byte steps. But they get really really good at saying WHAT something is for. The above are very stereotypical examples, but I see endless versions of them thrown around constantly.
My father has another saying, “If you cant win them over with knowledge, just baffle them with bullshit,” and their training is all BULLSHIT.
If I ask WHY this exercise improves balance relative to performing on a stable surface, what the particular coordination or mechanism is that is measurably being trained, and HOW this is then the most efficient movement to enhance said coordination that will transfer to performance, all I get is blank fucking stares. They don’t know how it’s properly done beyond what they think it’s supposed to look like. They can’t rationalize its inclusion in a program other than the fact that it is “for this”. They cant teach you anything because they’ve never learned it themselves, never done it themselves, and never have never studied it themselves. So they don’t have the knowledge of how or why, but they can baffle you with bullshit for an hour and hope you you don’t have ask too many hard questions.
So, always ask the question, “This movement/method is relevant how, in the context of why, exactly?”
There has to be a how and a why that rationalizes the what for. Any qualified coach can speak endlessly about the reasoning, the science, the experience, the rationale for why they use something, and how it’s used and what it will be for. Before I ever express any kind of recommendation on anything, I will always utilize it first myself, test it a bit on the appropriate clients, and then I will have an opinion on it. I will study how other more experienced and educated coaches have used it with their clients. I will preface this with, “this is how it is performed, this is how I have used, this is how I have seen it work, this is how it has been used by other coaches, hence, this is WHY we are using it.”
If I use something and it doesn’t work, and I hear and interact with other reputable coaches who also express this doesn’t work, then I am likely to declare something to NOT work, or at least not work very well. If it is something I have never done myself and I am not likely to do, I will refer to the recommendations of another, more experienced and accomplished coach within that field. I will preface this with, “I don’t know, I have not done that myself, but the successful coaches I have seen who have done it usually use XYZ.”
I have no problem saying when I don’t know something because there are many many things I have not done. I am not going to bridge the logic gap by bullshitting and claim +10 in experience for something that’s never happened. To use some basic logic, “if you’ve never done something, then it should follow that you will not have an opinion about HOW to do it, having never done it.” So if you have never done something, it should follow that you can’t really recommend how you should TRAIN for it.
Basic, but it apparently gets ignored by 99 percent of the industry who have the magical fucking ability to make -10 equal +100 in how awesome their coaching and methods and training are. They produce shitty books, ebooks, reports, repackaged programs and articles, and they call it all perfume and underground training secrets. It’s not perfume, its fucking bullshit smoke. And I’m tired of it. It negatively affects everyone’s credibility by creating the reputation of the stupid personal trainer or worthless internet guru, it lends the industry a reputation of incompetency, and above all, it’s dishonest to the people we are trying to help. I have enough of a fight tearing apart of fitness myths that my clients come to me believing. I don’t need to see it reinforced by snake oil trainers and coaches in my field.
I could avoid the smoke. I could just say screw it and I’ll do things the right way and build my credibility and don’t worry about the bullshit I see thrown around, but that doesn’t solve the problem though; the smoke blowers are still there. And after five short and long years of doing this and seeing the same shit over and over, I’m tired of just putting up with it.
So for however long it takes, and whatever it takes, I’m going to huff and puff and frankly just rip into them until they’re in pieces and I can see clear. This is for honesty, this is for the people we aim to help, this is for the health of the whole industry, and the standard of integrity we need to create if we are to be successful in the long term. This cannot be an industry of smoke and mirrors.
